


We Said Never, Yet, Here We Are

by patdbrendonn



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 07:33:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15383796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patdbrendonn/pseuds/patdbrendonn
Summary: They said. They said never to kids. It probably doesn't help their odds of not having kids when Brendon sometimes just forgets about condoms.





	We Said Never, Yet, Here We Are

**Author's Note:**

> Someone dies. 'It's' not the main character but, someone dies.

Brendon's eyes flutter open, looking over at the alarm clock. It was 3:30. Brendon sighed, rolling over. He reached his hand over to the other side of the bed, not feeling Sarah.

"Babe?" He sat up, noticing the bathroom light on. Brendon threw the blankets off of him, walking over to the bathroom. Sarah is sitting on the floor in front of the toilet. "Awe, are you sick?" Brendon asked, sitting on the edge of the tub.

"I dunno, but my stomach is very upset." Sarah starts to gag again and Brendon almost immediately pulls her hair back. Brendon sighed, rubbing her back.

"Awe, baby... It's okay. I'll go grab some Gravol for you..." He runs out to the kitchen, grabbing the pills and a glass of water. "Did you just drink a little too much last night?" Brendon asked as he got back to the bathroom.

"No, I only had like one drink..." Brendon handed her the pills. "Thanks."

"No problem, baby." Sarah stood up, looking at herself in the mirror.

"I'm breaking out... I haven't broken out like this for over ten years!" She rubbed her hands over the skin on her face. "The only time this happens is when my hormones are going apeshit crazy. Why would they be going crazy?" Brendon shrugged.

"I don't know, I still think you're getting sick. Come back to bed, let's cuddle." Sarah grabbed Brendon's hand. They walk back to the bedroom, both getting on the bed. Sarah rested her head on Brendon's shoulder. He started to play with his hair. "Why do you love me?"

"Why would you even ask that, Bren?" Brendon sighed, running his fingers through her hair.

"Because... Sometimes I just wonder why you love me, why you stick around. There are so many better people out there, why choose me?"

"Because I love you for you. You never hold back, you always show you're emotions, and you treat me well. Don't doubt why I love you because I do, so much.

 

*

 

It's been three weeks of Sarah being woken up from a deep sleep only to have to go and empty her guts. Some nights, Brendon sleeps through it all. Others he gets up and comforts her. One night, in particular, Sarah felt so hot that she ended up laying naked on the bathroom floor, only for Brendon to find her and laugh, but then join her naked, on the floor.

That night was like no other, Sarah bolting to the bathroom and throwing up. In the middle of two very big heaves, she heard Brendon call her name. 

"Honey..." He said as he walked into the bathroom, seeing her with only a tank top and some underwear. "This has been going on for so long, babe. I'm scared that you're really sick. I'm going to stay home tonight!" Sarah sighed. Brendon has been so excited to go out with his friends tonight, especially Spencer. They hadn't gone out in a few weeks, and that was all Brendon was talking about for about a week.

"No, you go out! If anything, I'll get Linda over. You need to see your friends." Brendon touched her back, rubbing slight circles. 

"O-Okay." Brendon stood up, rubbing his eye. "You coming back to bed, babe?" 

"No, I think I'm just going to go downstairs and make some tea." Brendon smiled, leaning down and kissing her. 

"Ooh, yum, the taste of vomit!" Brendon kissed her once again before standing up straight and walking back to the bedroom. Sarah stood up, flushing the toilet and walking to the kitchen. She pulled out her favorite mug, one that Brendon got her, and picked out some tea. Soon, she sat on the couch, sipping her tea and flipping through some TV channels. She stops when she sees MTV, only to hear the voice she fell in love with coming out slightly from the speakers.

It was an old song, but she loves it. She loves most songs that came off of Pretty. Odd, except Folkin' Around, it goes too fast for her liking.  

"Man, that video was fun to film," Brendon said, joining Sarah on the couch.

"I thought you were going to go back to bed."

"I can't. I'm worried about you..." Brendon took the mug out of her hands and took a sip. "Why won't you let me take you to the doctor, babe?"

"Because I know I'm fine. You can trust me, Bren, I know." Brendon sighed, handing her the mug. 

"Are you sure? I just don't want to get a call when I'm out telling me you're in the hospital." Sarah cupped Brendon's cheek, smiling.

"I'm not going to the hospital anytime soon, Brendon. You won't get a call from the hospital, okay?"

"Okay..."

 

*

 

"I'll be home before midnight, babe," Brendon said as he grabbed her hips and kissed her. "And Linda should be here soon." 

"Okay! Go see your friends!" Brendon smiled and closed the door behind him. Sarah sighed, walking back into the kitchen and pouring herself some tea. She leaned on the counter, drinking it. Penny came strutting into the kitchen, looking at Sarah.

"What?" Penny slowly backed up and walked out. Sarah got up when she heard a car pull into the driveway. She looked out the window and saw Linda.

"Hi!" Linda gave Sarah a hug, laughing. 

"Hey, I'm so happy I'm not alone tonight!" Linda walked, in, putting her purse down. 

"I'm not..." Linda looked back over at Sarah. "I think I'm pregnant..." Linda gasped, her eyes wide.

"Have you taken a test?" Sarah nodded no.

"But I have been throwing up so much, I just know." 

"How are you going to tell Brendon? You guys never wanted kids!" Sarah sighed walking towards the couch.

"I'm just going to tell him, I guess."

For the next three hours, Sarah and Linda sat in the dining room eating. Pizza, cake, you name it, they ate it. The one thing Sarah was dying for was some booze, but she knew she couldn't. That night she also booked an appointment with her doctor, only sighing after. 

"I mean, what if I am pregnant?  What am I going to do?" Linda sighed, grabbing her hand.

"You have Brendon. You know for a fact that everything is going to be alright. It might not seem like it, but it will. And don't tell him yet. Tell him when you know that you are officially pregnant." Sarah still felt like her whole world was caving in. She never wanted kids. Brendon never wanted kids. She knows that this will only end badly.

 

*

 

Sarah sat in her car and just cried. Her head resting on the steering wheel, she just cried. She let the tears roll out of her eyes while in the doctor's office parking lot. Sarah just found out she is indeed pregnant, and now is dreading going home. She really doesn't want to tell Brendon.

Sarah decides just to drive home. There is a huge percentage Brendon isn't even home. He could be out, right. Wrong. His car is in the driveway. She let out a shaky sigh as she wiped the dried tears away, looking at herself in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes are bloodshot like she'd gotten into Brendon's weed. 

She sighed, opening her car door and getting out. Once she got into the house, she knew Brendon was in his studio. Sarah walked through the house, going to the locked door of the studio and slightly knocking. A few things ruffled inside before Brendon opened the door with a smile.

"Hey, Bab- What's wrong?" Sarah looked into his eyes and immediately started to cry. "Hey hey hey! Sarah!" Brendon pulled Sarah into the studio, sitting them both on the couch. "What the hell is wrong?"

"I-I don't want to say it..." Brendon sighed, grabbing her shoulders. 

"Babe, just tell me. Are you afraid that I'll be mad or something?" Sarah nodded. "Babe, if you didn't cheat on me, I won't be mad." He smiled at her. "Or if you killed our dogs. Then I'll be mad." Sarah looked back into his eyes, letting a single tear fall down her face.

"I-I'm... I'm pregnant..." Brendon's eyes slowly grow wide. 

"W-What? No, you're not!" Brendon sat back watching her facial features. "Sarah... Oh god!" Brendon stood up, starting to pace around the room. "What the fuck are we going to do? What am  _I_ going to do? How are we going to do this?" Brendon sits back down, looking back at her. 

"I don't know! Do you see why I didn't want to tell you?!" Brendon let out a long sigh, closing his eyes. 

"You know what? No, maybe this is a good thing." He grabbed her shoulders again. "You know, our genetics together will be amazing. And our baby will be fucking adorable!" Sarah slightly smiled. "Baby, I love you. I-I know we said we would never have kids but, maybe it's fate. Maybe this was supposed to happen now. How, how far along are you?"

"9 weeks." Sarah breathed. 

"In around seven months we'll have a baby. A Urie baby. A little human mixed with the both of us. Hey, if fate is on our side, the kid won't be the Tasmanian devil!" Brendon laughed, making Sarah smile. "There's that beautiful smile!" He slowly brought Sarah into a hug. "I love you, babe."

"I love you too..."

 

*

 

Sarah sat on the front porch, sipping a tea. She watched some kids playing across the street. 

"I am the king of the universe!" The little boy yelled with a cardboard sword. 

"And I'm the queen!" A little girl pops out of the bushes, wearing a dress. "And I am going to KILL YOU!!" The little girl started to chase the little boy but tripped. She started to cry, holding her knee. 

"Malorie! Are you okay?" The little boy asked, dropping his sword and running back to his sister.

"I-I scraped my knee!!" 

"Mom's not home! What are we going to do?" Sarah smiled, sitting her tea down and starting to walk across the street.

"Do you guys need help?" Sarah asked, bending down to their height.

"Yes, ma'am." She looked at the little girl's knee. 

"You got your knee good! I'll be right back with the first-aid kit!" Sarah ran back into the house, passing Brendon.

"What are you doing?" Brendon asked, following her. 

"That girl across the street fell and banged her knee, and her parents' aren't home." She grabbed the first-aid kit and ran back outside. "Okay, I'm back." She opened it up, pulling out a spray bottle. "This will sting a little, sweetheart." Sarah sprayed the rubbing alcohol on the little girl's knee. "So, what are your guy's names?"

"That's Malorie and mine is Robbie. What's yours, miss?"

"Sarah! It's nice to meet the both of you." Malorie smiled when Sarah put the band-aid on. They all looked in the driveway when their mom pulled in. 

"What happened?" She asked, walking over to them.

"Malorie fell and hurt her knee, but Sarah came over with this kit and helped!" Their mom looked at Sarah and smiled.

"Well, thank you for helping her!" She helped Malorie up.

"Ah, no problem! I was just sitting on my porch, and they needed help!" Sarah shook the mom's hand and walked back to the house. 

"Your motherly instincts are kicking in!" Brendon said, standing in the doorway.

"They are, aren't they?" Brendon smiled, walking back into the house. Sarah grabbed her tea and walked back in, seeing Brendon sit on the couch. 

"You know, one day our kid is going to play out in the yard. Playing with frisbees, jumping rope, everything." Brendon looked at Sarah. "I am determined to give our baby the most normal life possible. Public school, no tours, we treat it like we were as kids. Normal everyday people."

 

*

 

Sarah has been looking forward to this day for about a month now. Brendon has a surprise for her, and of course, he won't break and tell her what it is. She woke up like usual, Brendon beside her with his arm draped over her. She smiles, feeling his warm breath on the back of her neck. 

"Good morning, babe..." He said, moving his hand lower and touching Sarah's stomach. "And good morning, baby!" 

"What's the surprise?" Sarah asked, rolling over so their faces are mere inches apart. Brendon smiled, closing his eyes slowly.

"Romantic day. I haven't taken you out for a while, so I wanted to tonight." He took his hand and moved her hair out of her face and placing it behind her ear. "Let's take a shower together, how does that sound?" Brendon slowly got up, stretching before looking back at Sarah. He saw that she looked somewhat uncomfortable. "What's wrong?"

"It's just... I'm not liking my body right now..." Brendon laid back down and put his hand on her hip.

"You're self-conscious? Oh, babe... You know that you're beautiful. Even if you gained a hundred pounds you'd be beautiful. You don't need to feel self-conscious around me. I don't like my body, but I feel amazing when you're around. Nobody is perfect, except you." Sarah gave him a small smile, nodding. "Let's go shower. I'll go get it ready." Brendon got up and walked into the bathroom. Sarah sat up and looked around the room, looking for her robe. 

"Where is my robe?" She yelled.

"I have it in here, Sarah!" She smiled, getting up and walking to the bathroom. Brendon was looking at himself in the mirror, rubbing his face. "Should I shave?" He asked, looking back at Sarah. 

"Maybe a little, it's getting kinda long." He nodded, turning to her.

"You ready to get in?" Sarah nodded, slowly taking off her tank top. She stood there, watching Brendon strip and get into the stream of the water. "Come on, slowpoke!" She smiled, taking off her pajama bottoms and slowly getting in. Brendon smiled, running his hands through his hair. He stopped, looking Sarah in the eyes. "I love you..."

"I love you too, Bren." Brendon took some shampoo in his hands and started to scrub Sarah's hair. She closed her eyes slowly, loving the feeling of how Brendon's fingers go through her hair. 

Soon, they both were drying themselves off. 

"Do you think you can fit in any of the dresses anymore?" Brendon asked, looking down at her slightly protruding stomach.

"I think my nice black one will still fit, why?" Brendon smiled again, shrugging. 

"I may bring you to a fancy restaurant, and you should dress nicely."

***

"My god, that was good!" Sarah said, putting her fork down. Brendon smiled, taking a few more bites of his steak before pushing it away.

"Yeah, almost forty bucks for a pasta dish, it better be good!" They both laugh before Brendon signals the waiter over. "Check, please." The waiter nods and walks away. Brendon looks back at Sarah with a smile. 

"You know, we didn't have to come out! I could've cooked something at home!" Brendon smiled more, grabbing her hands from across the table. 

"Tonight you have the night off. We're going to go home, relax for a bit, but we are going to have some fun!" Sarah smiled, looking into his deep brown eyes. Brendon went over and paid the bill, signaling Sarah to leave. She wrapped her arm around his, looking at each other smiling. 

The drive home was quiet. It wasn't a bad quiet, more both adults thinking. Brendon pulled the car into the driveway of their house, putting it in park and looking at his wife. He let out a long sigh, smiling at the end. 

"Why do I always get so goddamn nervous when I think about sex?" He asked with a smile. Sarah grabbed his hand, making his eyes advert to hers. 

"I don't know, baby. I don't think I've told you in a while how good you make me feel." Brendon's cheeks turned a light red. They both got out of the car, walking into the house. Sarah walked into the bathroom and let her hair down, shaking it around a bit. She smiled, opening the door and seeing Brendon smiling at her.

"My god, you're gorgeous." Brendon pulled her into the bedroom, zipping her dress down in the process. He helped Sarah push the dress off her shoulders, watching it fall off her body. Sarah stepped out of the dress and started to tug at Brendon's tie. Soon, Brendon was only in his boxers and Sarah only in her bra and matching underwear. Sarah sat down on the bed, watching Brendon walk over with a smile. She grabbed ahold of the hem of Brendon's boxers, pulling them down to his knees. Brendon sighed, closing his eyes and taking his hand, pumping himself. "I've been waiting all day to do this..." He breathes out, opening his eyes and looking at Sarah. He motioned her to lay down and so she did. Brendon got on top of her, pushing his hands underneath her so he could unclasp her bra. Once it was undone, he swiftly took it off and stared at her breasts. "Fuckin' beautiful, babe." Brendon then moved down, hooking his fingers on Sarah's underwear and slowly pulled them off. 

"Stop fucking teasing me, Brendon or I'll fucking bite your dick off and use it myself!" Brendon looked up at her, starting to laugh. 

"Oh god, please tell me that's your hormones talking!" She huffed, moving her head to the side. Brendon almost immediately without any warning placed his face near her core, sticking his tongue out and flicking it. 

"Jesus..." She barely moaned out. Brendon let out a hum, letting his tongue work its magic. "I already feel close, Bren..." He stopped, pulling away and getting on his knees. Brendon slowly pumped his member before he pushed himself into Sarah, making her back arch tremendously. He went at a slow pace, pretty well like he always does to make sure it's the most pleasurable for the both of them. 

"My god, I love you." Brendon hissed out, flinging his head back. He picked up the pace, knowing that if he didn't he wouldn't come close. 

"Please..." She muttered out. Brendon knows what that means and took his hand to start rubbing her. Almost instantaneously, Brendon felt Sarah start to clamp down on him, sending him over the edge. Sarah was sent into a shaking orgasm, closing her legs and pushing Brendon away. 

"Woah, must be a strong one!" He said before laying beside her. She nodded, shaking a few more times before looking at him with a smile. "I love you."

"I love you too, Bren."

 

*

 

Saturdays in the Urie household are sacred. Brendon and Sarah go out for pancakes every Saturday. They love it, no dishes after it all. 

Sarah rolled over on the bed, looking over to Brendon who was reading a book.

"What'ya reading?" She asked, making him look away from the book. He smiled, closing the book and reading the title.

"'What to do when you're going to be a dad'. Actually, It's been helping my anxiety." Sarah smiled, rubbing his hair. 

"You're having anxiety about having a baby?" She asked. 

"Of course I am! I am so fucking scared. I'm more scared for you to go into labor, Sarah. I'm probably going to be that obnoxious husband who doesn't know what the fuck to do." Sarah sighed. "And probably have a panic attack. This is why I never wanted kids, I'm not man enough."

"Yes, you are!" Brendon looked at her and back to the book. "Panicking is your way of revving up to be a dad. You've never been a dad before, and it's okay to be afraid. I know you, baby. Once our little gremlin is here, everything you are experiencing right now will go away." Brendon smiled, opening the book back up. "Now, let's go get some fucking pancakes because I am seriously craving strawberries."

***

Brendon sighed as the phone rang twice before he picked up. 

"Hello?" Dallon asked, hearing Knox yelling in the background. 

"Hey, Dall, it's Brendon."

"Oh, hey! Gimmie one second... KNOX STOP BITING YOUR SISTER!! Jesus, these kids will be the death of me!"

"Not helping, Dallon." Dallon sighed.

"What's up?" Brendon looked out the window, seeing Sarah sitting on the porch.

"What was it like to hold Amelie and Knox for the first time?" Dallon didn't respond right away, probably thinking. 

"To be honest, relief. Breezy's pregnancy with Amelie wasn't smooth sailing, so many things kept on going wrong. But, once I heard that first cry, all of those worries went away. And once she was placed in my arms, I lost it. Trust me, it get's easier once they're born." Brendon sighed again, looking at the book.

"What about when Breezy went into labor? How did you handle that?" Dallon laughed.

"I barely did! Dude, it's fucking scary! You just have to be there for her!"

"Okay... Thanks for the help. Tell Breezy I said hi!" Brendon could just hear Dallon's smile.

"I will. Bye, Bren." Dallon hung up, leaving Brendon in his own thoughts. He smiled, seeing Sarah walk into the house. 

"I have a name stuck in my head and I can't get it out." She said, sitting on the couch with him.

"A boy or a girl name?"

"A girl name. Gemma." Brendon smiled, placing a hand on her knee. 

"If it's a girl, do you want to name her Gemma?" Sarah nodded. "If it's a boy, can we name him Jude?"

"Why Jude? I'm not against it but why Jude?" Brendon looked over at the piano and sighed.

"When I was little, sitting in the back meant listening to my dad's mix tapes. One song that always comes to mind when I think of road trips is Hey Jude. It just means a lot to me, I guess." Sarah placed her hand on top of his, smiling up at him.

"Then those are the names picked out. Gemma and Jude."

 

*

 

Brendon and Sarah held hands as Brendon drove them to an ultrasound appointment. This was a huge one, hopefully, they would find out the gender. Well, not there. They would get an envelope so they could have a Gender Reveal party. 

"I can't wait for my parents to come down!" Brendon said, pulling into the parking lot. "My mom is so excited to see you! She said that she just loves seeing people pregnant. Either she's super excited or weird... I'm now kinda guessing weird." Sarah laughed, getting out of the door.

"Oh, come on! Your mom is amazing! I seriously don't know what you're going to do when she's gone..." Brendon sighed, shaking his hand. 

"I try not to think of it. But then again, anyone can die at any moment, so I take everyone's lives for granted. "I'll go check us in." Sarah sat down in a chair and watched Brendon walk up to the receptionist. 

"Thanks for checking in, Brenny!" Brendon kissed Sarah's cheek, looking over to the side of the room when he heard yelling. It was a young girl, no older than 16, getting yelled at by her father. 

"Why would you have sex with him?! My god, you're an idiot!" He yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. Brendon turned in his seat, watching the girls every move.

"Dad... I'm sorry..." Brendon watched a tear fall down from her cheek. He stood up, walking over to them.

"Excuse me, and I know this isn't my place or even business, but you don't need to humiliate her in front of everyone here..." The girl's father just stared at Brendon.

"She decided it was a good idea to have sex with her boyfriend! Her whole life is ruined! Like I said, she should have an abortion!" Brendon looked down at the girl.

"How old are you, sweetheart?" The girl sniffed. "And what's your name?"

"My name is Lizzy and I'm 15..." Brendon smiled at her then looked back up at her father.

"Look, sir. I'm going to tell you a little secret. I go on tour a lot, and I see a lot of different extraordinary people. But one always sticks out in my mind. She was 13 at the time I met her, very petite, and very nice. But, she looked tired, almost worn out. So, I gave her a VIP pass and let her come talk to me. She told me she was being raped, and pregnant. She said she wanted to just get an abortion and not tell anyone. I convinced her to tell her mom. It was her stepdad. By the look of the no ring on your finger, and the tone of your voice, you got a divorce, yes?" He nodded. "And Lizzy's mom, she remarried, yes?" He nodded again. "Your daughter isn't in the worst possible situation ever, and shouldn't have an abortion. Because that 13-year-old girl didn't, a beautiful baby boy was brought into this world, her mom got a divorce with the man who raped her, and he is now in jail. And the baby, the girl named him Brendon, because if she didn't talk to me, he wouldn't be alive. So, for one, at least your daughter isn't 13, and two, she wasn't raped. Her life isn't over, she'll just have to grow up a little faster than everyone else. Her life is just starting, she is going to be a mother. If anything, right now she needs a hug, tell her that everything will be alright, and maybe take her for dinner." Brendon sat down next to Lizzy. "And you. I have a gut feeling that you are going to be an amazing mother. Don't you ever let other people's words affect you raising a child, okay?" She looked up at him and nodded. "Thanks." Brendon patted her shoulder before getting up and walking back over to Sarah. 

"Wow... You did well over there..." Sarah said, grabbing his hand again. 

"I felt like I had to. I've never found anything wrong with the whole teen pregnancy thing. I mean, girls can get their periods as early as what, 9? One time can get a girl pregnant, she shouldn't be viewed as a whore." Sarah nodded.

"I totally agree."

 

*

 

Sarah laughed as she watched Brendon run around the backyard with the dogs. He jumped around, getting Penny to bark a few times. Sarah laughed before sighing when another Braxton Hick hit her. She wrapped her arm protectively around her bump, making Brendon stop. 

"Whoa, whoa, you're not going into labor, right?" Brendon asked, running up to her.

"No, just some more Braxton Hicks. Nothing to worry about!" He sighed with relief, getting on his knees and putting his hands on her stomach. 

"I was about to say! You've only been in there for seven months, you don't need to come out yet!" Sarah giggled, shooing Brendon away.

"Nothing to worry about, baby." Brendon stood up a little, grabbing her cheeks and placing his lips on hers. 

"You sure? You've been pretty uncomfortable all week! I just don't want anything to happen to you or the baby!" Sarah sighed, looking into Brendon's eyes.

"I'm sure. Now, can you please get me a water? The sun is really hot today..." Brendon kissed her forehead then ran inside of the house. He soon came back out, handing her a bottle of water. "Oh, thank you, baby!" Brendon smiled once again, sitting next to her and pulling out his phone. 

"Damn, my phone has been blowing up a lot today... It's twitter..." He opened the app and looked at his notifications. One peaked his interest, and it was the source of his notifications going absolutely fucking insane. "Remember when we went to that one ultrasound and I talked to that dad about the 13-year-old girl?" Sarah nodded. "Her son turned one today! And look at him, he's so cute!" Brendon showed Sarah the phone, showing her a picture of a cute handsome little man. 

"Oh my god he is! And look at his little bowtie!" Brendon giggled, liking the tweet and shutting his phone off. Sarah closed her eyes feeling another Braxton Hick come on. 

"Baby, why are these so regular?" Sarah shrugged, grabbing Brendon's hand. He pulled his phone back out, going to Google. Once he found some good information about Braxton Hicks. "Do they hurt?" He asked Sarah.

"Yeah." Brendon's eyes widen, standing up.

"They're not supposed to hurt when they're Braxton Hicks. I'm taking you to the hospital."

***

"It looks like your body is in distress. This happens to a lot of people, but because how far along you are, I think it would be best if we closely monitor you. I'm going to admit you. But, if your body does not want to get better, we'll either have to induce labor or in worst case scenario, we'd have to put you in a medically induced coma." Sarah grabbed Brendon's hand and held it tight. "I'll have a nurse come down soon to get you." The doctor smiled before leaving the room, leaving Brendon and Sarah to sit in their thoughts.

"I think we should be thankful. Our baby isn't here yet, and you are fine." Brendon said rubbing Sarah's back. "I think I'm going to call Spencer to get the dogs, I really don't want to leave you here alone..."

"Bren, you will need to go home and sleep. I really don't care if you argue, I'm winning."

 

*

 

Brendon sat in the living room with a beer in hand, taking a sip before setting it down. Sarah has been making him go home to sleep and to be honest, he hates it. He hates the loneliness and the quietness. Spencer comes over every once in a while just to make sure Brendon is okay alone. But Spencer knows Brendon is completely out of it. He's probably waiting for his phone to ring to tell him to get to the hospital.

His phone rang. And it was the hospital, but it wasn't for Sarah. 

"We need you to identify a body." Brendon's breath hitched, not knowing what the fuck was going on. "Your phone number was the only one active, so we had to call you. Can you come down to the morgue, please?" Brendon said yes, the whole time, trying to think of somebody who would have his number. A lot of people have his number, now. But who was it?

Brendon drove to the hospital in silence. He didn't know the cause of death, or of course, who it was. Once he was at the hospital, Brendon sighed, knowing he would see somebody he probably cares deeply about. 

"You ready to go in?" The doctor asked Brendon as he touched his shoulder. Brendon nodded, still having no idea who it is. The doors open and the doctor guides Brendon to a body covered in what seems like a white sheet. The doctor nodded at Brendon, signaling to remove the sheet from the head. Brendon slowly pulled away at the fabric, seeing memories flood back to him. "Do you know who he is?" The doctor asked. Brendon nodded, feeling the tears already burning his eyes. "Do you know his full name?" Brendon nodded again. 

"George Ryan Ross III... How did he die?" Brendon asked, pulling the fabric down a little more and grabbing Ryan's hand.

"We don't know yet. I'm so sorry." Brendon just left the room, pulling his phone out and calling Spencer, now in full on tears.

"Hello?" Spencer answered. Brendon was hesitant to tell him, knowing how long they've known each other.

"Ryan's dead..." Brendon was able to choke out. 

"W-What?" Brendon sat down on the floor and just cried. "You're fucking serious!" Brendon cried harder, not really wanting to say anything anymore. "How do you know?"

"I just saw his dead fucking body! My number was the only one active in his contacts!" Spencer let out a shaky sigh.

"I fucking just changed my number... I'm going over to his house to see if anyone's there. If not, I'm grabbing Dottie. And the only family member I know of that Ryan is still somewhat in contact with is his little sister. I'll see if I can find her number." Spencer hung up, making Brendon cry harder. He finally was able to get up, walking through the hospital until he saw Sarah's room. He walked in, almost collapsing on the floor again.

"Brendon? What's wrong?" Sarah asked, sitting up in her bed. 

"R-Ryan died! Fuck, why haven't I been there for him?! I've been a fucking asshole to him!" Brendon got up, walking over to Sarah's bed and lying down next to her. She wrapped her arm around him to keep him from falling off the bed. "I miss him..."

"I know, baby."

 

*

 

Today is the day. Today is the day that Brendon and Sarah are going to become parents. Sarah started to have contractions in the middle of the night and Brendon showed up soon after. He had a panic attack just driving to the hospital, giving himself a pep-talk the whole way.

"You're going to be strong for your wife, Brendon. You are going to hold her hand, help her breathe, just fucking be there for her! Don't pass out, don't make any jokes, don't crave a joint, just be her fucking husband for once!" Brendon pulled into the parking lot and practically jumped out of the car, running into the building. Once he got to Sarah's room, he saw her on a birthing ball.

"Oh thank fucking god you're here!" She sighed, bouncing up and down on the ball. Brendon smiled, kneeling down and grabbing her hands. 

"Of course I'm here!" Sarah squeezed Brendon's hands, closing her eyes. "How long have you been in labor?" 

"About two hours. The doctors just thought I was having Braxton Hicks again so that's why it took them so long to call you." Brendon smiled.

"Well, all that matters is that I'm here now. Say, how about we take a little walk, it might speed things up a bit!" Sarah stood up, stretching her back before smiling at Brendon. "You're beautiful." Sarah scoffed, placing her hands on her stomach.

"I don't feel beautiful!" Brendon stood up with her, placing his arms around her. 

"You're always beautiful. I just hope you always know that, babe." They start to walk in the corridor of the hospital, Brendon softly singing My Way by Frank Sinatra. They both love that song, Brendon more then Sarah, but they both love it. It was soothing, just what Sarah needed.

"I think we should head back, I feel a little bit of pressure." Brendon turned them around, wrapping his arm around Sarah's hip to stabilize her. The whole walk back Brendon was holding back a panic attack as hard as he could. He knew if he had a panic attack he would have to leave the room, and if he did, he might miss everything. 

 

*

 

Brendon had to step out of the room. He just couldn't sit in that room anymore, he felt too Closter phobic.

"Baby, go take a walk or something. You're hyperventilating." Sarah said to Brendon as she held the bars to the bed as hard as she could. 

"No, I don't want to leave you..." Sarah sighed, opening her eyes and looking at him with a sweet smile. 

"A ten-minute walk will probably do nothing, Brenny. Just go take a breather!" Brendon kissed Sarah's hand and stood up, walked out into the hallway. He sighed as he pulled out his phone, looking at Twitter. People he follows are still talking about Ryan's death. So is Brendon, actually. He thinks about him every day, knowing that he is no longer here. 

_"Brendon! We're late!" Ryan yelled out of the bathroom. It was a tour stop and to be honest, the whole band was falling apart._

_"I'm coming!" Ryan exited the bathroom to see Brendon sitting on the bed smiling. "I've been waiting for you to finish in there for like, an hour." Brendon sighed, grabbing his coat._

_"Sorry, I just needed it." Ryan looked around and sighed. "Look, we gotta talk..." Brendon cocked an eyebrow, looking at Ryan weirdly._

_"About what?"_

_"The band... I want out." Brendon felt his heartbreak, hearing this out of nowhere. "I'm sorry, Bren. I just, need to move on from this whole Panic thing. But promise me, you'll never ditch this band."_

Brendon walked around the corridors in laps, finding himself in the same place he found out Ryan passed. He sighed, taking a few steps back before turning around entirely. His walk slowly turned into a slow run, then a full-on sprint. Once he got into the Labor and Delivery, he knew. He knew that those ten minutes was not a good idea. 

He walked into the room, seeing Sarah's face scrunched up in pain. Brendon immediately got back on the side of the bed, making Sarah's eyes open. 

"Oh, thank god..." She mutters, grabbing Brendon's hand and squeezing. 

"I'm here, don't you worry!" She closed her eyes again, starting to once again push. Sarah let out a small squeak through the small gap in her lips. 

"C'mon, Sarah, one more push!" She mover her chin to her chest, letting out a growl. Brendon cringed, hating seeing Sarah in pain. All of the sudden, Sarah's face relaxed and a loud cry filled the room. She opened her eyes and looked at Brendon with a smile. 

"We're parents..." Brendon nodded, feeling the tears brim in his eyes. 

"You did it, baby..." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. 

"Does Dad want to cut the umbilical cord?" The doctor asked with a smile. Brendon nodded, getting up and walking over to their baby. The umbilical cord was already clamped. He took the scissors from the doctor's hand, snipping the weird skin. He watched as the baby was placed on Sarah's chest. Brendon sat back down in the chair next to the bed, watching as Sarah cried looking at the new baby. "Have you guys decided on a name, since you two knew the gender?" Both Brendon and Sarah smiled. 

"Gemma Grace Urie."

 

*

 

Brendon sat in a chair next to Sarah's hospital bed with Gemma in his arms. Every so often she would open her eyes and look up at Brendon, making him smile. 

"Hey, baby girl..." He said as she opened her eyes again. "God, you look so much like me... How? You should look like your mom because she's so beautiful! But I know you will be so beautiful. You will rock this world, Gem." Gemma closed her eyes again, softly touching Brendon's hand. 

"She will, won't she?" Sarah said as she rolled over on the bed. Brendon looked up at her and smiled. 

"Well, either she will rock or end up in an insane asylum because we're her parents." Gemma opened her eyes again and looked at Brendon. "Hey again! Welcome back to the open-eyed world!" She closed her eyes again.

"She does not like when you talk. You might be shit out of luck when in the studio." Brendon sighed, knowing if that's true, then he'll have to buy an actual recording studio. And, he would hate that. Brendon likes to work from home. 

"That would suck." He said honestly. 

"Her ears are probably still sensitive, just give it time!" Brendon looked back down at Gemma, smiling when she made a cute noise. "Maybe sing a lullaby or something!" Brendon smiled as one came into his head.

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me.  
I once was lost, but now I'm found.  
Was blind, but now I see.  
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,  
And grace my fears relieved.  
How precious did that grace appear,  
The hour I first believed.  
  
Through many dangers, toils and snares,  
I have already come.  
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,  
And grace will lead me home.  
  
When we've been there ten thousand years,  
Bright shining as the sun.  
We've no less days to sing God's praise,  
Than when we first begun.  
  
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,  
That saved a wretch like me.  
I once was lost, but now I'm found.  
Was blind, but now I see.  
  
Amazing grace, oh amazing grace,  
That saved a wretch like me.  
Oh amazing grace, amazing grace."


End file.
